Part of The Underway Gourmet by Suzy O'Keefe
timeframe: 1995
Back in San Diego for nearly a month, and life was NOT wonderful. After the breakup with Tim and in a depressed state lower than life had ever dumped me before, I was fighting to put forth a positive face (at least) in public. My friends couldn't be fooled though. That twinkle was gone from my eyes and my smile was, obviously a lie.
A few powerful events had kept me going thus far...John's & Laura's immediate offer of their boat "Telitha" as my temporary base while figuring out my escape from Mexico... my San Diego friend, Wendy, and her offer of"Willow Wind" as a place to stay when I arrived... folks I remembered only as "the sailboat with a photocopier on board" who offered a floating home for the month they were land-yachting back east... and last but certainly not least, I passes my Ham Radio test thus upgrading my license to General! At last I could actually speak with my cruising friends along Mexico's west coast. No longer isolated by a Tech Plus radio license that prevented me from pushing that all important microphone button, I was back on the air. With a "Temporary AG" tacked onto my OQH...I could talk, but carefully avoided the nets (and times) where I might encounter Tim.
Even that ceased to be a problem because the radio reported his where-abouts to be back in Del Rey. I could listen & speak any time I wanted, uninhibited by that voice of his that still drove me crazy (and would, as it turned out, continue to do so for what seemed an infinity). And, he was to continue to impact my life in other not so subtle ways. Within days, a large box arrived containing what remained of my (good) clothes that had been hung & neatly folded in the back of his small studio closet. They were thrown into a wrinkled heap. Apparently shoveled into the box like so many empty pizza boxes remaining on the table the morning after. No note. No nothing. What was I supposed to do with them now? Dresses, long satin elbow-length gloves, frilly things that had no place on a boat. Shit! I gave them to the local Goodwill Store.
This was a good thing in disguise, though. Now I was angry. The hurt inside me now had to share it's space with ire. There was strength in that. I had never before viewed anger as such a powerful thing. This was something more than an event. This was a tool that I could use as needed.
For 11 days I lived aboard a boat in Mission Bay right next door to a small boatyard producing expensive power boats for folks who like to go fast. It was isolated from the rest of San Diego but I soon worked a deal with a fellow boater who rented bicycles to fund his cruising kitty. An almost new purple 10 speed (a mens' bike, hmmmm) with locking mechanism provided. Gosh, did THOSE muscles of mine still work? YES! No problem. Sweating & smiling, I rode about 15 miles the first day's round trip to Downwind Marine and a few other errands. The same most other days...something to fill my time.
San Diego is "easy" by bike, with the hills of Point Loma as the only small obstacle, the Mission Bay to Downtown loop provides enjoyment for all the senses. A warm September, and cruisers had already started gathering from the north. Bicycles already the mode of transport for those on their way south, I had lots of company. Mexico was just a few miles away by sea but weeks away by calendar time. The weather window was not yet open, but that was OK with the cruisers. With so much boat work and shopping still to be done before the USA slipped out of sight over the northern horizon, time flew.
I saw an opportunity to do something constructive... something to help my fellow cruisers. I organized a hair-cutting seminar. Yea, yea, I wanted to know for my own selfish reasons (long hair and short money) but hey, I knew many other women and their mates would appreciate this little event later!
It didn't take long to find "Nicolletti's", a corner hair salon with a latent sailor for an owner who fairly beamed at the thought of CRUISERS!??!!!. He offered to open his shop one evening and do the whole thing for free. He'd provide the show & tell and the coffee. I'd provide the cruisers and the cookies. Deal! A few posters went up, and the VHF radio did the rest with San Diego's morning "net".
So with the aid of that mysterious new tool (anger), my radio voice regained, and a revived confidence in my abilities to make things happen... my positive self was beginning to re-emerge and take control. I still wasn't happy, I was but much more likely to be!
John & Laura now provided yet another event powerful enough to propel me further into a new adventure. They had this friend in San Diego... owner of a Morgan 38, about 45, and a nice looking single-hander (literally, he only had one). Lost the other on in a butcher accident. If I could "handle" that, then we should get together.
Could I? I dunno (geeez!), but I promised to get in touch. I gave him a call on the VHF net the next morning... no answer, whew! OK, I tried. No harm, no foul. But it was silly of me to think it could end there. About 15 of his friends heard my call and ALL of them went by his boat to tell him SUZY was looking for HIM! Guess I forgot to mention I had posted a notice on the wall at Downwind Marine that was rather "uh" descriptive, huh?
Sure enough, that afternoon he dinghied over from a neighboring marina. I'm not sure how he knew just where I was. Nice looking? You betcha and nice bunns too. The missing hand was hard to ignore though. I rode back to his boat for the grand tour... not bad, especially considering that he had done a fair amount of the work himself. He'd owned the Morgan for many years. No cruising experience though...hmmm.
We spent a nice afternoon talking and an invitation to the concert at Humphrey's that night (by dinghy) ensued. Humphrey's is a Shelter Island Hotel that supplies a series of open-air concerts every year. Nice looking and just plain nice. I needed nice (for a change) and he needed me. My experience, my help, me! Inevitable, I suppose, under the circumstances. We joined forces and a hastily revised application for the '95 Baja HaHa was sent to Latitude 38. (Bruce was eager to ammend his entry form to show that "Lady Luff" was now a triple hander ;-) I swear... all I did was identify myself as THAT Suzy...Richard (the editor of the magazine and a friend of mine) did all the rest! By early October, I had traded in my bicycle for Bruce's Mercedes Benz.
What a change! A little paranoid that I'd put a scratch or ding in the darn thing, I watched the other cars on the road like a zebra watches the lions on the Sarengetti. The Benz was already listed for sale in the Auto Trader (due out on the news stand any day) and the $$$ was slated for the cruising kitty. I ran lots of the errands in it and things certainly could have been much worse... I mean, San Diego is not L.A!
The Benz not only sold quickly, but sold to a friend who allowed us to continue using it until the very last day (more than 2 weeks away). Now I was REALLY paranold, but we certainly would never have made it through that frenzy of departure activity without it. The bicycle? Another cruising friend used it for the rest of my lease.
Bruce & I earned a 2nd Place prize in our division of the HaHa cruiser's race. You may have seen the picture of my "ribbon holder" in the December '95 issue of Latitude 38. We stayed together all the way to Zihuatanejo and the end of that year. Perhaps, this was the beginning of an amazing series of events, but I didn't realize it yet.
| Copyright © 1998 | Suzy O'Keefe |