Part of Writes and Wrongs of Passage by Suzy O'Keefe
In my past life, I had a husband. I had a house filled with furniture, ferrets, sectional sofas, waterbeds, and rocks. The yard, that grew eucalyptus, jasmine, dicondera around a clover shaped Jacuzzi and had two vehicles in the driveway surrounded by a block wall. I worked much more than 12 hours per day not counting the drive or the stop at the supermarket on the way home.
When I escaped, I did it Big Time with no hint to my employer that I was about to leave. I simply said one day "I don't want to play anymore" and never went back (serving out my last 90 days on a stress-related leave of absence). I received my full pay and my gold watch for 20 years of faithful service by mail!
Driving home from work that final day, I knew I had to buy a boat and what the name would be. I knew I would do it and I knew I would love it as sure as anything. What I didn't know was just how big an impact all this would have on me...My husband and I split up shortly thereafter (he didn't like it). I lived alone on my boat in depressed Nuevo Vallarta (one of those places dubbed as a home for cruisers who have given up cruising and a ghetto) I was the only unattached woman. Wandering around in my skimpy bikini brought me lots of attention from all of the men. It was a completely new sensation for me and it sustained me. Then Tim sailed into the Marina and I sailed off into the sunset with this tall, handsome, witty fellow. Sold my boat, became a big fish in the small pond of Mexico. After several years I lost his love (or maybe I never had it), and sailed off on my own... certain that I'd find someone else to love somewhere out there on the ocean.
I took some foolish chances. Where I sailed mattered little...only that I kept moving, sailing, feeling the ocean under me. Something always came along. A passage to one island group would lead to an adventure on the next and so on. This was my life for 18 months. No security, no place in particular to go, no one waiting for me anywhere. I had a tremendous amount of freedom (something envied by many), but that wasn't what I wanted... not what I wanted at all. I was sailing, making friends everywhere, experiencing life as I never had before, and risking that very life in the process. I was seeing the world from an incredibly odd perspective. One of a woman alone who didn't want to be, but had accepted it as a necessary evil.
What I hoped to find was a fellow with a boat who attracted me and was likewise attracted. A sailor, but more. A lover, but more. Someone who shared my love of life, and sea, and the changes that were so much a part of travel. I wanted that special someone and I'd know him when I found him. Oh, there were lots of offers and even a few possibilities. Someone with whom I could spend a short time, but all the while knowing I hadn't really found anything at all.
I would "inspect" vessels, ask dozens of questions about equipment, methods of sail, experience...while knowing that if this was the right fellow, the "boat" would become secondary. Tall and bearded (silly maybe, but that's what I wanted), sexy and funny, and with that spirit...that "something" that caused us both to want the same things and not be afraid to be different. Someone to take care of who takes care of me. I want to be part of a very special relationship again and SOON, damn it!
In Australia now, with time running out because so was the money, I began getting a tremendous response from my "cruising partner" advertisement in Latitude 38. After a lot of agonizing, I agreed to a win/win situation. One fellow actually offered to fly me to meet him and if I didn't find that he was Mr. Boatright, he'd fly me back to rejoin my sailing rally. How could I refuse such an offer? I couldn't. Hopeful though I was... I felt certain he was not my ideal partner though he insisted he was. But, at least, I was back in the US of A and could now easily follow up on fellows responding to my ad. Still no luck and not sure going back to the rally was the right move. Still not finding the right man, so off I went on a delivery to Mexico. This was NOT fun. I flew to my brother's place to figure out what to do next and continue my quest somehow.
It was there I discovered the WWW (the Wonderful Weird World of the Internet). Not sure what to expect, I put my name on several electronic crew bulletin boards. It was here, far away from sailing and in a small office inside my brother's house, that I found (what could be) Mr. Boatright. Or should I say... he found me. Who'd 'of thunk it? Two folks on opposite sides of the country both wanting (needing) the same things can actually find each other!
He invited. I accepted. 12 days later I was back in California and experiencing the very hi-tech world of a geek! The potential of love, travel together, joint authoring, speaking gigs, spotlight... very compelling. We shared the spring of 97 but something was missing. Something necessary for a lifetime together, so I left the lab and spent a few weeks in Hawaii before returning to California yet again. This time I had planned to go to the Burbank area for a charter possibility that had never quite materialized earlier in the year. Again, this meeting was not to be and I found myself about to be stuck in the Bay area overnight because I couldn't change my tickets. A friend picked me up at the airport about midnight and offered a place to stay for a few days.
Wow... that few days grew into months of work along with room and board AND what had become that All-Important net connection... my own email address!
Suzy with a "twocats" address, I re-entered the electronic bulletin board realm and re-connected with people I had lost for a while. Lots of activity on the e-boards to keep me occupied between sanding, grinding, fiber glassing, painting, varnishing, yard undergrowth would be a better word work, office work, and general organizing!
Suddenly, in the midst of all this, there was Ken...
| Copyright © 1999 | Suzy O'Keefe |